dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
