I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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