My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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