you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
