party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
