I wish I only lived at night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
