never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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