She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
