I could have mohawked her pubes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
