these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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