I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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