i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize