I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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