Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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