i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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