i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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