Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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