I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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