I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
