Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
