Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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