I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
