spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
