I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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