And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
