Where is the hickey?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
