Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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