Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His hands were made for my vagina.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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