the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
