I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
