i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
These tits shall not be calmed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
