If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
