Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
