Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
