Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
