How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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