You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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