That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
