last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
