i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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