He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
