omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
