i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
