Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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