Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
