I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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