So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize