I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
