this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
