There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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