I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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