Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
A+ Viking dick
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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