I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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