Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
