So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
