All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize