I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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