i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
